the aftermath and the beginning of something new
by Gabby D
Summary: After the meeting with Maggie, the boys have another talk. [Hinted Pre-Slash] Post-Season 8, #TeamMaggie. Sequel to 'morality ends where a gun begins'.


"'M surprised you're ok with this," Daryl tells him in honesty once the small meeting is over, as they're sitting on the stairs of the trailer they're now back at sharing once again. "With the whole… 'killing Negan' thing. Almost expected you to protest or some shit."

Paul looks up, not entirely surprised at the confession but not having expected it either— though maybe he should have, given everything.

"Really, why is that?"

A shrug, and Daryl looks down at his own hands. "Just thought you were against killing, 's all. Aren't you the one that said to think bigger than revenge? Who convinced Maggie to not kill all those Saviours, to have mercy?" _The one who made me listen? _he didn't say, but Paul heard it all the same."I didn't think you'd be alright with the plan, kinda goes against what you said earlier."

Paul stops and thinks about it for a second, weighting the words though he already knows his answer.

He knows, of course, where Daryl is coming from; he just kinda hoped the other knew him better than that, after their last talk.

"Does it?" he asks after a while of silence, and that grabs Daryl's attention again. "I'm not against killing, I never was. Not really. Unnecessary deaths, sure, and unnecessary cruelty - but not killing. It's something necessary in this world and I understand that, I do. I've killed too, you've seen it. But killing the Saviours indiscriminately, even more those who are unarmed and surrendered, isn't the same thing as doing it for survival."

Daryl nods, still not looking completely convinced. "I know that now."

"Then you must know why I'm not against Negan dying, either. Some Saviours just made a bad choice, or didn't have one to begin with, that's different. And the fact that they're now a part of what we're trying to build just proves that."

He takes a moment to breathe, thinking of the time before he met Rick and Daryl on the road— the uncertainty of whether Negan would just kill one of them again just because, the rage of having to endure Gregory's cowardice and the helplessness of not being able to do anything about it. With no guns and no people who could fight, all Paul could do was just exhaust himself every day and every week to try and keep his people alive, to keep them all fed and safe.

"But Negan? He took away their choices in the first place," Paul continues, and there's a calm and cold sort of anger in his tone that he can't hide nor tries to. "Negan's the reason why our communities struggled, the one who killed and tortured our friends and family. Without him, none of this would've happened— all this pain and death."

Paul remembers the hope he felt when he met Alexandria and at the promise that they could deal with Negan— he went with them to the outpost, made sure of it; Paul had been dying for the chance to fight back, to do something.Anything.

The relief he felt afterwards was nothing compared to the crushing guilt and dread at the cost of their mistake.

_His _mistake.

"And I know what Rick is hoping with this. I understand his reasons, really. I can see the value in what he's trying to accomplish, and I can't say I disagree with it," he admits, because he really can't. He doesn't want to hide that from him.

With Daryl, honesty is always the best way to go.

"Then why are you ok with this?"

"Because I understand _your _reasons, too. I was here with Maggie after… after she lost her husband, and I was here with you after the Sanctuary. I've seen what Negan did to both of you. So yes, I'm not against killing Negan. I get it, you know? It wasn't fair of Rick to take that away from either of you, even more without discussing it first. We're supposed to be allies and that wasn't the deal."

"Yeah," Daryl agrees mindlessly, though he's looking at Paul as if he's seeing him for the first time. "We gotta show him that," he repeats Maggie's words, and Paul nods to show he understands.

"We do. He'll understand," he says, though he's not that sure of it. "Maybe now, maybe one day. But he will."

A snort. "Don't know about that, Rick's one stubborn sonuvabitch."

"So are you," points out Paul, making Daryl smile ever so lightly. "You're his brother though, that means something."

"Maybe."

Paul gives him a small smile, trying to look convincing, before closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the trailer's door.

They stay in silence for a while, as Paul listens to the quiet sounds of the community around them that serve as proof that they really did win the war and are _alive_ and Daryl quietly smokes at his side— he almosts asks for one, too, but it's been a while since he last smoked something and cigarettes were never really his thing anyway. Daryl lets out a puff, smoke surrounding the two as he did it, and speaks up again.

"I let Dwight go, you know."

He opens one eye, not having expected _that. _

Paul didn't know, actually, what'd been the former Saviour's fate; he had hoped the man lived, since his help had been crucial to their victory, but he didn't dare to ask. He knew Daryl wanted him dead and had promised it to him from the start, so when he saw the two driving away he didn't question it. Maybe— just maybe— a small pettier part of him was okay with it either way.

He remembers sitting in a car at the very beginning of it all listening to Tara talk about her girlfriend and about loving her, and he remembers the _cage _and Daryl looking filthy and lost and like hell had warmed over him.

But he lived, and Paul's glad.

Daryl doesn't really need an incentive before he continues it himself— Paul had learned that by watching him; sometimes, if you just waited a bit, he'd talk more. Questioning Daryl never worked, but waiting? That's worth it. In more ways than another.

"I let him go," he repeats, almost as if he could barely believe it himself. "Told the guy to look for his wife and make things right, and that if I ever saw again I wouldn't hesitate then. I couldn't do it," Daryl says, before rectifying: "I didn't _want _to, not really. Not then."

"You did the right thing," assures Paul.

The other nods, but he doesn't seem very sure of it. "He kept his word. Did right by us, saved Tara's life, even though he knew I'd kill him in the end. Doesn't make it right with what he did, but…"

"But he didn't deserve to die, either."

"Yeah. I knew him, you know?" Daryl reveals. "Before Negan and all this bullshit. Met him and his wife on the road, had Sherry's sister there with them still too but she died. Tried to recruit them for Alexandria. They were running away from Negan, didn't want to be Saviours no more. Didn't want to ever kneel again. They were scared, and I saw it. Dwight didn't even have the scar yet."

Clearly, things hadn't worked out. Still Paul asks: "What happened?"

"They didn't take it, too scared to do it. Fucking stole my shit too. Then Negan found them again, I guess."

Paul lets out a sigh, wondering what would've happened if Dwight and his family had accepted it the first time around— how much would things change, whose lives would have been spared. Would they still win the war, then? Would people still be alive?

"Fucking Negan," Paul ends up saying, making Daryl let out a surprised snort.

"Fuckin' Negan," he agrees. "Can't wait to see him get what he deserves, the fucking asshole."

Paul nods; truthfully, he can't either. "Maggie's plan will take a while still, you know," he points out. "It won't be as fast as it would've been if things happened the way we had planned in the first place. It won't be tomorrow, or next week."

No matter how much they want it to, it still needs to be planned out first; done carefully and slowly, no matter how long it takes, so there's no room for mistakes. They need to make Rick listen, and they will. Negan will pay for what he's done. But it can't compromise the world they're trying so hard to build. The safety of their community is and will always be the priority.

And so they have to wait.

_Think bigger than revenge_, as he had once told Daryl.

"I know, man. I know. Still." Another puff of his cigarette, and smoke surrounds then once again. Paul's fingers itch to grab it from Daryl's hand and give it a go of his own, looking at him while he did it, but once again he ignores the whim. It's still too soon for _that,_ whatever 'that' is."Fuckin' Negan," Daryl repeats with humor clear in his voice, pulling him away from his line of thoughts.

Paul laughs then, bumping their shoulders lightly and hoping as he gives Daryl an amused look that his eyes don't betray what he'd been thinking before— but if they do, Daryl doesn't react to it.

"We'll make him pay," Paul promises before he can help himself. "You'll see."

Daryl just nods and gives Paul a small smile of his own, chuckling softly before pressing their shoulders together and looking away, finally breaking their eye contact but not shying away. Interesting.

"Yeah. We will."


End file.
